what am i waiting for?

I remember a few years ago a friend and I were discussing life and how it seems like we live as though always waiting for the next thing to happen. 

In elementary school it was waiting for summer, in summer it was waiting for the school year. In high school it was waiting for college. In college it was waiting for the real world. In the real world it was waiting for my dream job, my wedding, my honeymoon, my first house, my baby, my next house... where does it end?

I feel as though I keep waiting for my life to start, the life I think I am going to live. I feel like one day the life in my head, where i have a set schedule and things get done, where i cook and clean and work and everything is perfect, one day this life will happen. But, when I think more about it, I don't think it will happen like that. I keep thinking that once I find a job I really like or once we move to a house that I really like...

but, in reality, i need to start living life like i want it to be now and stop waiting for the next thing to happen.

Slim Down Sundays -- Volume 2

One of the bloggers that I stalk follow, Natalie, has started a Trim Down Thursdays challenge to motivate and document her weight loss success. I've decided to come out of hiding and link up with my journey, so here goes nothing!

Update from Last Week: I was mentioned on Natalie's blog! Whoo hoo! That's a first for me by someone I don't know in person. So exciting and motivating! :) Anyhoo... back to the business at hand. This week was kind of a loss. Working over time and eating out too many times, not to excuse myself or anything... I didn't gain any weight but I was not as successful with losing as I have been and know I can be. My plan is to work on working out.

Weigh In: Saturday, May 26, at meeting, 179.4 lbs, down 0.4.  I have to admit, I didn't try as hard as I should have.

My Weekly Motivation:  Monday is a holiday, find a way to indulge intelligently :-)

Exercise: What's that?  We took a couple of walks this week, carrying the monster in the snugli, so yay for weight-bearing walking!! Also vacuumed/cleaned the main floor like a madwoman.

Share the Wisdom of Others: Change the way you think about exercise. Find something you enjoy and do it. Any activity is good. Break it down into more manageable chunks, 10 minutes here, 10 minutes there and before you know it, you have 30 minutes done, bam. As my doc says, you can do anything for 10 minutes. If you like to read or listen to music, do it while moving. Make a deal with yourself, if you want to watch a certain show tonight, you can watch it but only if you're on the treadmill while doing so. Trick yourself!!

First Degree Goal: Pre-pregnancy weight of 172 pounds. Getting closer!!!

Second Degree Goal: Find an activity that I enjoy in order to add in some exercise. Still working on this...

Ultimate Goal: 140 pounds/feel good in my skin/fit in single digit size clothing.

Linking up at

Quick takes Friday

** I saw this on a blog this morning and just had to add mine... what a follower am i! Let me also say that I have not even read further on this conversion blog so I don't know what it's all about yet but I do like making it feel like home's blog. **

1. I have had vacation brain for 3 weeks now, 1 week before leaving, 1 week on, and 1 week since returning from vacation. Does not make for productive work day (hence the blog post). Also does not mix well with mandatory overtime.

2. It's Memorial Day weekend... ever notice how it rains/is gloomy this weekend or unbearably hot? However, I do remember one year when it SNOWED on Memorial Day... I think 1992. My mom has pictures.

3. I found a new, totally awesome recipe for chocolate chip cheesecake cupcakes. I CANNOT wait to make them. I hope they live up to my (unrealistic) expectations for "healthy" treats.

4. I broke my reading glasses a couple of weeks ago and have since been squinting at my computer screen at work. Must remember to get some new ones this weekend!! Dollar Tree here I come.

5. This week was Medical Transcription Week, so take a second to thank/think of the person you'll never meet who ensures your medical record is up-to-date, complete, and correct, just in case you would ever need it to be. 

6. I joined Instagram yesterday. I'm interested to see what this will entail since I'm not the biggest fan of social medias like Facebook and Twitter.

7. We set up the monster's IFSP this week. She has a delay in her development and hopefully this will help her to advance. But, that's a whole other blog post.

Happy Friday. Happy weekend! :)

Quarterly report

30 before 30.

Health--Body

1.  Run a 5K with decent finish time (60 minutes or less).  DONE April 28
2.  Do a mud run. 
3.  Give up Diet Pepsi.
4.  Lose 10 pounds. DONE April 14
5.  Try a yoga class.
6.  Do water aerobics.
7.  Learn something new (physical).

Health--Mental

8.  Get off all meds and feel good about it. 
9.  Learn something new (intelligence).
10.  Learn to grow something (flowers or veggies).
11.  Finish Audrey’s baby book/scrapbook/calendar.

Food

12.  Bake a cake from scratch. DONE 04/25/2012
13.  Make homemade peanut butter cups with cookie crust.

House

14.  Go through closet and simplify wardrobe (use it or lose it). 
15.  Clean out and organize office. 
16.  Paint office and trim.
17.  Paint front porch and garage door.
18.  Decorate the dining room.
19.  Solve the coats and shoes dilemma **Still working on this, but mostly finished**
20.  Get new sheets/pillows for bed.  **Need pillows but sheets are done**
21.  Frame some family pictures (gallery wall).
22.  Go through knickknack box/get rid of/put out/store things.
23.  Make/hang curtains in living room/dining room.

Travel

24.  Take a trip somewhere I haven’t been.
25.  Visit Monmouth.
26.  Check out city of Madison.
27.  Go to Duluth for a weekend. DONE O5/13 thru 05/15/2012
28.  Spend a weekend camping out of town.

Other

29.  Finally change name on passport.
30.  Watch the Lethal Weapon movies.

What I ate today...

One of the things that is key in WW (and many successful 'diets') is tracking your intake. There are certain daily health guidelines (so much water, fruits/veggies, dairy, etc) to follow to make it easier for you to be healthy instead of just low calorie/low fat.

So, here's what I ate today and tracked, in pictures.

BREAKFAST -- veggie and cheese omelet with bagel thin and coffee with splenda

Coffee with splenda
Overdone whole wheat bagel thin with spray butter
1 egg/1 egg white omelet with cheese, tomatoes, and spinach

LUNCH -- PBJ wrap, carrots and ranch, string cheese, water

Big glass of water
PBJ Flatout flat-bread wrap
Baby carrots with ranch dip
String cheese
(Didn't eat the yogurt or Reese's cup, was going to but i got full)

Snack time... Reese's peanut butter cup :)
Big glass of water.

SUPPER -- Avocado turkey wrap and brown rice salad with a root beer

Diet A&W
Turkey, avocado, spinach and feta wrap
Brown rice salad with tomatoes and cucumbers

I'm actually pretty surprised I didn't snack more today. I was home all day and usually I have tons of snack attacks... Good for me. :)

Slim Down Sundays -- Volume 1

One of the bloggers that I stalk follow, Natalie, has recently started a Trim Down Thursdays challenge to motivate and document her weight loss success. I've decided to come out of hiding and link up with my journey, so here goes nothing!

I don't know if I've told you this but I made it my challenge for 2012 to be more healthy/lose the pregnancy weight and then some (if possible). I weighed in at 195 pounds (on a 5'1 frame, yikes). By myself I managed to drop a few pounds (to 192.5) but I didn't really stick with it.

Since making that promise in January, I would find myself eating out a lot/mucho desserts. So eventually I joined Weight Watchers. I had been doing WW but then got knocked up ;) and had to quit. I've been doing WW since March and am doing okay with it. Slightly unmotivated but working on it. Maybe summer will help? When I started I weighed in at 190.6.

Weigh In: Saturday, May 19, at meeting, 179.8, up a little since I took a week or so off for vacation. Happy to say I am back on health conscious bandwagon :)

My Weekly Motivation: My pants are mostly too big on me this week... pretty motivating :)

Exercise: What's that? Obviously still need to work on this :-/

Share the Wisdom of Others: Shop the perimeter of the grocery store to avoid processed junk, and try to bring home one unique to you item from every grocery shopping trip. Ripe mango can be frozen and eaten like candy! Try it.

First Degree Goal: Pre-pregnancy weight of 172 pounds.

Second Degree Goal: Find an activity that I enjoy in order to add in some exercise.

Ultimate Goal: 140 pounds/feel good in my skin/fit in single digit size clothing.

Too much to do

I've been super blog happy since getting back from vacation this week but I've yet to blog anything about it. Soon I will, have patience :-) Plus, there are so many blog ideas rolling around in my head, I think I may forget something... lol.

But since you asked so nicely, here's a quick recipe for you. I made this the other night and was pretty pleased with how it turned out...
 
Stuffed mini sweet peppers

8 mini sweet peppers (red, yellow, and/or orange)
8 tsp whipped cream cheese
Garlic powder
Mrs Dash table blend
Oregano
Cooking spray

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350*. Line baking sheet with foil and spray foil with cooking spray.
2. Remove stems from peppers. Slice each pepper in half the long way and remove seeds/ribs.
3. Spread each half with 1/2 tsp cream cheese. Place on prepared baking sheet.
4. Sprinkle each pepper with garlic powder, Mrs Dash, and oregano. Lightly mist with cooking spray.
5. Bake for 10-15 minutes until peppers are tender and cream cheese starts to brown. Let stand in oven (turned off but still hot) for 10 minutes.
6. Enjoy!

Grilled chicken with rice, green veggies, and mini stuffed peppers.

from the hub

back to reality

Vacation over... back to real life. sad. :(

It was very awesome to get up whenever I wanted and not to have a schedule for the last few days. On the bright side, we did get two bids yesterday to replace our retaining wall and have one more company coming out on Saturday. Hopefully they are all in the "doable" amount range for us so we can at least have a pretty looking yard instead of our overgrown, falling down wall.

4 years ago...

I was busy getting married. Happy anniversary baby :)

I was reading about mothers day on a blog this morning and it made me start to think, really think, about what it is to be a mom. A parent really. There is so much more to it than one would ever realize until they are a parent and sometimes not even then. Just think about it... All those years of giving and sacrificing for your child and they don't even realize or recognize what's being done for them.

I've always tried to remember my mom on mothers day and to thank her but how can I truly say thanks for all those things I can't remember/recognize/realize she did/still does?

For me, being a mom is difficult. Having the sleepless nights, crabby days, no alone time, disconnect with husband, trying to understand a kid who can't tell you what it is they want or why theyre upset. And never saying thank you...

But Monster thanks me in her own ways. With her big toothless grin, her hilarious laugh, the funny faces she makes, and the cuddles she gives me. It makes it seem worth it.

I think about myself growing up, being the last baby, the only girl and how much work it must have been to have me and my 3 brothers in the house. Ugh. Then I think about what a horrible preteen/teenager that I was and just shudder to think of all the things I put my parents through all the while having my brothers as well...

Thanks mom for the last 10,669 days. Oh and sorry for all those years when I should have been sent to military school. Happy mothers day.

And happy mother's day to all those moms out there, whether they are old-hand-moms, brand-new-moms, soon-to-be-moms, or just waiting-to-be-moms. Enjoy your day! And don't forget to remember your mom too.

sneaky

Hubs and I are sneaking away on an anniversary trip this weekend. It's a secret. He has no idea where I'm taking him. :) I'm going to blind fold him too. I've got it all planned out and I totally can't wait! I'll be sure to tell you all about it when we get back.

Oh yeah... our 4-year wedding anniversary is coming up on Wednesday May 16th. Where has the time gone?

Happy 5th of May

 In honor of Cinco de Mayo, I made Bubble Up Enchiladas. I found this recipe through the Duchess of Fork originally, but i also found it on EmilyBites. This is a weight watchers recipe and can be tweaked however you like. I've even made it as bubble up pizza. :)

Recipe adapted from EmilyBites.

Ingredients:
1 pound lean ground turkey 
1 packet taco seasoning
1 15 ounce can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 10-ounce can enchilada sauce
1 cup part skim mozzarella cheese, finely shredded
1 can reduced fat refrigerator biscuits, cut into quarters
1-2 cups low fat cheddar or Mexican blend shredded cheese

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350*. Spray 9x13 baking dish with cooking spray and set aside.
2. Brown ground turkey in large skillet.











3. Add 3/4 cup water and taco seasoning, stir well and simmer for a few minutes.
4. Add black beans and enchilada sauce. Stir to combine.
5. Mix in 1 cup mozzarella cheese.

6. Add the biscuit quarters and mix together.
7. Pour into prepared baking dish and bake for 25-35 minutes, (depending on how many biscuits you add. I added less biscuits and needed a little extra baking time)

8. Take pan out of oven and sprinkle with 1-2 cups cheddar or Mexican blend cheese.
9. Bake an additional 10 minutes.
10. Let stand for 5-10 minutes before serving.

Enjoy!

A different kind of mommy guilt

Anyone who is a mother, about to be a mother, or who knows a mother knows about or has heard of mommy guilt. The feeling that you're not doing enough for your child, that you're spending too much time away from them while at work, or the feelings that set in when you're trying to decide what is best for your child. For me, it's never really been about that. I don't know if I am doing enough for my monster, I have to work, and I just go with my instincts for decisions about her.

For me it's different.

I read a couple of blogs by moms who have children just a little older than mine. They range in age from being born in July 2011 to September 2011 when monster was born in October. I also have a close girlfriend whose daughter is 3 weeks older. I pay attention and notice all the little things that these moms report about their babies... when the kid is rolling over, sitting up, eating solids, reaching for things, wearing what size clothing when, what kind of diapers, when/how much formula/breast milk baby takes, what a routine is like, how naps go, and even daycare... my baby girl is not doing anything the same as these other kids. She is not doing anything at all like them and it's hard not to judge and feel that there's something wrong with her.

I know that all kids are different and develop and grow at a different rate/pace. I KNOW that. It's just so hard to remember when I hear about other kids her age(ish) and what she is not doing. Is there something I did wrong first off? Did I do something during my pregnancy that is affecting her now? Should I not have gotten induced but waited until she came naturally? Should I have made a bigger deal about her sleeping in her swing and instead put her in her crib right away? Should I not have rocked her to sleep for months? Should I be more strict now about a certain routine? Should I send her to a daycare center instead of to grandma's house while I'm at work? Should I try harder with baby lead weaning to develop her grasp/reach for things? Should I have started solids earlier? Should I stop spoonfeeding her?

I just don't know.