Last week we had an appointment with the specialist PMR doc from the cities. Monster sees her every four months or so to keep updated on her movements mainly. The way her muscles work and don't work, etc.
I asked if Monster would ever walk since lately I've been very discouraged and frustrated that monster isn't progressing quite as much as I'd hoped. The doc very bluntly said probably not. She may never walk on her own without assistance, such as a walker or crutches. Her muscle tone has two vastly opposite ways that it fires which kind of cancel each other out and leave her without much control. She did suggest pool therapy and also seemed very excited about the idea of hippotherapy (horseback riding) for Monster in the coming months.
Talk about a major blow. When you have a baby you don't think about what could be different about your future. Mainly you think about the status quo high school kid running around on two legs, being "normal" with normal activities. At least, that's what I did when I was thinking about Monster before she was born. Even still I think about her in high school as a "normal" kid, not as one who's different than the average. I mean, we don't know that is our future for sure. We don't know what she'll turn out like. I wish we did. I wish we could see what the future holds for Monster in regards to walking, talking, cognition, etc. but we can't. And it's sometimes disheartening.
Anyway. That same day Monster had the state required preschool screening (needs to be done before kindergarten). Her name came up on the list which was the only reason I scheduled it at age 3. It was awful. There was nothing that she could do during the screening. She can't stand, walk, answer questions, or do activities. It made me sad. All the ladies doing the screening looked at me with this "poor you" look, not to mention the other parents in the waiting room while their kids colored or read books and Monster just sat there being monster-y. I cried the whole way home. I don't usually get too down about monster's disabilities but that day was too much for me. I cried and felt sorry for myself and my baby girl.
It's hard. Her life is going to be hard and I feel so badly that I can't change that. She's not going to be the average girl in high school giggling about the football players and complaining about how hard that history test was. She's going to be in special ed class with other not average kids just trying to get through each day and learn something, anything that she can take with her. It's just hard.
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Sunday, January 4, 2015
Went grocery shopping this morning, just to pick up a few things, milk, cheese, etc. still ended up spending almost $100. WTF?
Trying this whole food prep idea for the week. I'm going to do simply filling for the week and realized that if I don't plan ahead, I'm not going to succeed. So I made egg cups for breakfast and have oatmeal/fruit ready to go. Also planning on a big pot of chili, a crockpot meal, and some chicken made ahead this afternoon. Need to plan some lunches and snacks still, but I'm feeling confident.
Going through clothes from my nephew and can say that mr. Magoo will be pretty much set from now until age 3!!! I still need to pack up all his baby clothes :-( when did he get old?
Posted by Caits at 1:54 PM
Friday, January 2, 2015
When I dream, it's really interesting. I could be a millionaire if I could remember and publish my dreams.
What's with having a time limit on my garbage collection? After 6 pm before noon? If I'm gone I have to call or pay a fine? Hmmm. Not so sure I like this new recycling bin that much, but it is a lot bigger.
Mr Magoo is one! How did that happen?
JT joined a gym. Maybe I should too?
My favorite lip glosses are super cheap. One from the dollar store and one in a gift set from target.
At the same time I want to cut my hair off, grow it out, highlight it blonder and dye it dark dark dark. How do I decide?
Posted by Caits at 9:52 AM
Thursday, January 1, 2015
1. What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before? parented two kids
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Nope, not even close... I think I may try again this year.
4. Where did you travel? No where really... Madison and the cities
5. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014? Motivation!!
7. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Living
9. Did you suffer illness or injury? Pretty bad week of the flu for our whole family... extended included
11. Where did most of your money go? House, bills, baby stuff.
12. What did you get really excited about? Babies.
13. What song will always remind you of 2014? Everything is Awesome
14. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder?b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? Happier, thinner, poorer.
15. What do you wish you’d done more of? Dates with Justin.
16. What do you wish you’d done less of? Ate crappy.
17. What was your favorite TV program? 19 kids and counting... don't judge me.
18. What was the best book you read? The Outlander series by Dianna Gabaldon
19. What was your greatest musical discovery? The River 105.5
20. What did you want and get? Nothing comes to mind.
21. What did you want and not get? A monster walker...
22. What was your favorite film of this year? Did i see a movie this year?
23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Big 3-1 and I can't remember if we did anything... maybe Red Lobster?
25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014? I dressed pretty cute I think, I should document this more often.
26. What kept you sane? Ranting to Liz.27. Who was the best new person you met? My coworkers are pretty neat
28.Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014? Your life will not change if you don't change.
Posted by Caits at 11:36 AM