less than 200

Yay. Only 199 days to go.

why I don't like Facebook

When Facebook first started, way back when, I was a fan. I liked Facebook. I spent a lot of time on Facebook. We had specific "Facebook pictures" that we took when we were out. Over the last few years, it seems that Facebook has become everything. Totally commercialized and not really fun to me anymore, so I've been avoiding it. At first it went from every day to every other day, then every week, then every couple of weeks, now I can go months without thinking about Facebook. And I'm okay with that... except for the fact that apparently, I'm not good enough friends with you anymore if I don't keep up with you on Facebook. I had to find out a friend of mine was engaged WAY after the fact because she didn't tell me herself. her excuse once I asked was... I put it on Facebook. okay. So i guess I'm not important enough in your life to warrant a freakin text message to hear that you're engaged? nice. And the only place to get updates on my niece and nephews is on Facebook, which is lame. My family and I aren't close enough for a phone call or even an email but sure Facebook is okay. dumb. And my biggest reason for not liking Facebook is totally in my head. Maybe it has to do with my self esteem or something... I'm not sure. But every time I look at Facebook, I get totally jealous and wish for a different life for myself. I know everyone puts up the best things about their lives on Facebook...but still it gets to me. I look at pictures of people and they seem to have it all down, things that I still haven't figured out for myself... kids, jobs, vacations, pets, fun stuff. It just makes me feel like I'm not enough... So I don't like Facebook.

PS I just typed Facebook so many times that it totally looks like it is spelled wrong... does that ever happen to you?

why I didn't tell

I didn't tell everyone right away about this baby bundle I'm carrying... I waited, and waited, and waited... It feels like forever. The days seemed to slow down, not because I was excited to tell everyone but more so because I was not.

Not that I'm not excited about baby #2, because I am, but because it just seemed like such a hassle to tell people. I'm almost done being in denial, which I have been for the last few weeks...

I'm an overly private person, so I don't want co-workers all in my business, which as soon as I tell about the baby... they will be...asking questions, wanting to know things, things I don't necessarily feel like sharing with the whole world, especially people who aren't super close to me.

Also, it's the 2nd baby (poor kid already being treated differently) so why make a Big Deal, we've been here before...

Plus. Still totally feeling the guilt trip for doing this to monster... i know she won't remember life without a sibling but I feel so bad for taking it away from her. Especially her because she needs extra help and probably won't be getting the same amount of help from me once this kiddo comes along.

Negative

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I feel like I'm
just walking around
with a big old black rain cloud
over my head

And that's my attempt at poetry for today.

what's in a name?

A recent question about where monster's name came from got me thinking... naming a kid is one of the hardest things to do, in my opinion. Not only are there 2 sometimes very different view points, but also there is the simple fact that your child will be "stuck" with their name for the rest of their lives (Or the next 18 or so years if they want to change it).

A lot comes from a name. When you look at someone's name you automatically think xyz about them. That person's name is Steven so he must be ... (fill in the blank) or that girl's name is Bella, her mom must have loved Twilight, and so on... Or my favorite, my nurse's name was Delores so we automatically pictured her as an older lady. Nope, she was 30 tops. Or my friend Dorothy, age 32.

I'm so worried because it took us so long to come up with monster's name... 37 weeks actually. We finally decided 3 weeks before she was born. I guess this time it will help because we're going to find out the sex of the baby and therefore cut down on half of the name-choosing that we'll have to do. But, we have such differing opinions on names. He's totally stuck on one name that I absolutely do not want to have as my kid's name. And, he only ever says maybe or no to anything that I suggest. GAH. Why can't I just use the names that I have been thinking about since I was a young girl? I'm the one doing all the work.

where have I been?

Where have you been?

Whoops, really fell off the blogging wagon there. Sorry! :-)

So, what have we been up to? Let's see... oh I know! A bulleted list, gotta love a list!

• New platform at work = lots of overtime hours and a new learning curve (especially when the majority of the gals I work with are at least 20 years older than me... mostly 30).
• Monster is having PT/OT/Speech therapy twice a week now so that means lots more running on my part. It's SO much running. Hopefully just for the summer. At least that's what I hope. 
• Weather has been raining for days/weeks/months... or at least it feels like it. this equals no energy and lots of downtime spent watching the X-Files. We just finished the finale last night. and the 2nd movie. Not too impressed with the movie/the last 2 seasons of the show... I want my Mulder. David Duchovny is just super hot. Even when he's a geek. 
• Speaking of weather... any time it's been nice for the last month I've been out in my yard weeding, or planting (sort of), putting down mulch, and painting the front porch. Happy to say that our front yard is 95% finished. All I have to do is get another nice day to finish painting the top beam and figure out the mailbox/numbers. THEN it will be done! Yay! And I'll try to take a picture, assuming it's not raining... 
• Why is it that rain = allergy symptoms BAD? I've been feeling them for almost a week now.. yugh. 
• Recently gotten into Downton Abbey... Only season 1 on Netflix, season 2 on amazon prime... and now I'm supposed to pay to watch season 3?? Man. Why do I even bother to have the netflix/primes if I have to end up paying to watch TV shows? 
• Nothing else new to report. 

What have you been up to?