Tuesday, March 26, 2013


Parenting is a like a never-ending competition (even if you're not consciously competing against anyone else, it's there. Trust me.) with yourself, with your baby's other parent, with your own siblings, with your friends, and with people you've never even met. 

I was going to be the breastfeeding champion before monster was born. I was totally convinced of it. I bought into the thought that every kid could breastfeed and every woman as well. If you didn't, or couldn't, you weren't good enough. Turns out my kid wouldn't/couldn't and therefore, in my head, I wasn't good enough. I don't know if I've actually let that go yet and it's over a year later now... 

When monster was brand new, I thought I was so much better than my husband at feeding/getting her to sleep/getting her to stop crying. Of course, I was better I was the mom! He was just some guy who didn't have any little kid experience, right? Well of course, I'm not better/was not better than him, just a little more experienced. It evens out in the end.

I remember before kids thinking about my brother's kid and hoping against hope that my kid wouldn't end up like that, spoiled, bratty, throwing tantrums, etc. I realize now it's not his fault, my brother or his kid, but then I always thought... oh you suck at this. I'm going to be so much better than you. Or maybe that's just part of longstanding sibling rivalry, but that's a whole other subject. 

My other brother's kid now is doing things any average kid his age would do, but sooner/faster/better than my monster and I can't help but think it's not fair and I'm jealous. I asked, curious about what the little guy was doing and then felt bad once I found out. Again, not my brother's or his kid's fault, just a product of bad luck with genetics for my kid. It was especially bad overhearing him tell the same information, in more detail, to someone else. I want to cry just thinking about it now. 

With friends, I try so hard not to get caught up in the competition, but I can't help it. My friend's little girl is just a bit older than monster, but advanced for her age and has older siblings to keep up with... it sucks watching her do all the things that my kid should be doing. Plus it really sucks to hear a friend say how good my kid is doing when she really knows nothing about the situation other than the bare minimum. I also really hate the sleeping competition. Some kids sleep all night from birth and mine doesn't. BAH! Others eat terrific and mine doesn't. I hate it. Go away jealousy! 

But for me, the hardest thing is with people i don't even know. Every mom-blog I read, every story I hear from a co-worker, every single post on forums... my kid is so much better than your kid because of X, Y, Z. 


  1. It's a fine line from where being a proud mama can turn into instant bragging. I am sure I've been seen as bragging and maybe I was purposely. As a mom, I am PROUD of my child and everything she does. We want our children to succeed and be the best. I think that's in our mom DNA and when we see other's advancing, it's hard not to be jealous because we want our kids to do it. I've learned that over time, all kids will roll over, crawl, walk, talk, recite ABC's and count etc... They will do it on their time and when they do, you will be the proudest mom around :)

  2. I hope that I don't come across that way as bragging. Sometimes all I put down all the happy stuff on my blog and leave out the bad stuff, I hope that doesn't make things worse. It's so easy to feel inferior or judge yourself based on others. I had the same problem with sleeping through the night and my baby getting teeth and all that - It just doesn't seem fair. I can't even imagine what it's like to be in your shoes. But I know for a fact you are doing the VERY BEST you know how, and that despite the mom-jealousy you are a fantastic mom.

  3. I hope I didn't imply that people were bragging... Just trying to explain the competition in my head. Haha. You guys are so right and thanks :-)